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Sarah Palin

The Anchorage Daily News reported yesterday that vast globs of, well, “goo” (to use the technical term for it) have been found floating off the shore of Alaska.

The dark substance is thought to be organic in nature and not some sort of petrochemical.

Nobody knows for sure what the gunk is, but Petty Officer 1st Class Terry Hasenauer says the Coast Guard is sure what it is not.

“It’s certainly biological,” Hasenauer said. “It’s definitely not an oil product of any kind. It has no characteristics of an oil, or a hazardous substance, for that matter.

“It’s definitely, by the smell and the makeup of it, it’s some sort of naturally occurring organic or otherwise marine organism.”

Something else: No one in Barrow or Wainwright can remember seeing anything like this before, Brower said.

Officials have collected samples and sent them off for testing, but whatever the stuff is, it is kind of creepy.  Kind of like the ‘The Lonesome Death of Jordy Verrill’ from the movie Creepshow.

Maybe the real reason Sarah Palin has resigned her post as Governor of Alaska is that she knew about the Arctic Sludge Monster from Space and didn’t want to be hit with yet another lawsuit by people afflicted with PMS (Palin Malignment Syndrome).

And, can you imagine how news outlets like the Los Angeles Times or op-ed writers like  New York Times’ Maureen Dowd would react?

“SARAH PALIN TO BLAME FOR EVERYTHING (well, everything that isn’t GEORGE W. BUSH’s fault, or Dick Cheney’s or Rush Limbaugh’s or Sean Hannity’s or …”

Maureen Dowd recently said, “Caribou Barbie is one nutty puppy.”  Well, I’m not sure what a “nutty puppy” is (other than a really, really poorly thought out verbal jab – I mean, come on, puppies don’t eat nuts and it doesn’t even freakin’ rhyme or anything), but I think it is just one of Ms. Dowd’s ham-fisted attempts at being witty.

What I think Ms. Dowd was so ineffectually trying to say is, “Caribou Barbie is crazy.”

Is Sarah Palin crazy?

Sure thing.

Crazy like a cougar fox!

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