Moronmeter.com

Bob, the Enzyte Guy

You may find this shocking – I know I can’t even think straight having just read this Reuters bit via FoxNews.com – but, now brace yourself… oh, I’m not sure how to put it, so I’ll just go with the headline that Fox used… Some Baby Boomers Still Getting High.

The U.S. Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration released statistics that indicate that in 2007 (their most recent reporting year, I guess), 9.4% of Baby Boomers admitted to using “illicit drugs” in the previous year. This was an increase from the 5.1% in that age group who admitted it in 2002 – an 84% increase in just five years!

According to the statistics released, the admitted usage rates among all other age groups either stayed the same or decreased.

I guess there are two ways you can look at it.  Either they really were the only ones using more drugs or maybe every one else is just lying more.

Along those same lines, USAToday.com had this report on Monday, “Older people, too, knock back 5 drinks at a time.” They reported on a Duke University study that found that 22% of males (and 9% of females) aged 50 to 64 had ‘binged’ (as defined by the survey as ‘five or more drinks at a time’, which many people would define as being “light weight”) in the month before taking the survey.

The study also found that 19% of males and 13% of females in that age group had two or more drinks every day, which is ‘considered heavy or “at-risk” drinking under American Geriatric Society guidelines for older people’ (also known as “taking it easy”, in some circles, I’m told).

Now, I don’t know if anyone else has made this connection, so I’m going to throw it out there…

Drugs and alcohol can cause problems with male, um, performance, if you know what I mean (and I think you do ).

Maybe the high usage of drugs and alcohol amongst the Baby Boomer set might explain why there are so many ads for “male enhancement” and “erectile dysfunction” products on television. There are an awful lot of Boomer men and if they are sitting around drunk, stoned, horny, and unable to, er, perform, they would make a great target audience for the ED drug companies.

The thought of a bunch of stoned, drunk, and horny old guys running around having just received their orders of Viagra/Cialis/Levitra is really creepy (and gross), unless it was the plot for a Cheech and Chong reunion movie or a horror-comedy movie.

Both of those would still be gross, but at least they might be funny.

Unlike the thought that there really are a bunch of stoned, drunk, and horny old guys running around with their fresh shipments of Viagra/Cialis/Levitra…

No related posts.